I feel I should explain the previous post a little more. Any one of those incidents could have happened and not have been that big of a deal. What was ridiculous and overwhelming to me was that they all happened within two weeks of each other!
Micah and I love our home and neighborhood. A lot of forethought went into moving here, we knew the circumstances and our hearts are in it. I have lived here since December and haven’t really had any incidents, but knew they would come. I thought I would be more prepared. But there is this fear lingering inside me. I don’t like it and I know it is not from God. I felt nervous walking to my car last night as two men were passing by and was annoyed by the feeling. Once I got in my car I started thinking about it. I remembered when I went to Uganda by myself 3 summers ago and how I feared being afraid but never was when I was there. There were a number of times when I should have felt fear, but didn’t. Why was that? I want to be in that place. So confident in where God has me that I live freely, not restricted by fear. Micah says that safety is merely a smoke screen.
I read this excerpt from The Sacred Romance by John Eldridge. And it kind of rocked me.
We would like to picture goodness as being synonymous with safety. When we think of God being good, we perhaps picture someone like Al on the popular TV program Home Improvement. He is someone who carefully plans out each task ahead of time and has all the proper tools and safety equipment in place; someone who has thought out every possible danger ahead of time and made allowances to ensure our safety as his workmate; someone who goes to bed early, gets plenty of rest, and wears flannel shirts as a mark of his reliability.
Being in partnership with God, though, often feels much more like being Mel Gibson’s sidekick in the movie Lethal Weapon. In his determination to deal with the bad guy, he leaps from seventh-story balconies into swimming pools, surprised that we would have any hesitation in following after him. Like Indiana Jones’s love interests in the movies, we find ourselves caught up in an adventure of heroic proportions with a God who both seduces us with his boldness and energy and repels us with his willingness to place us in mortal danger, suspended over pits of snakes.
Wow. Love it.